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LOL: 8 silly Twitter jokes that are funnier than He...

Twitter addict receives phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, 

"I have some good news and some bad news."
Twitter addict, 
"OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, 
"The good news is, you've got only 24 more hours to live."
Twitter addict, 
"Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, 
"The bad news is, Twitter is down."

- - -

Teacher: "Bob, what is this thing they call Twitter?" 
Bob: "What do you think it is, Sir?" 
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!" 
Bob: "I don't think I know either, Sir!"

- - -

Girl: What is it about my Twits you like?
Boy: Frankly I'm still forming my opinion, the first two were great and I'm looking forward to seeing more.

- - -

Guy Jumps in Taxi. 
Driver: I guess you're in town for the big Twitter convention?
Guy: Yes, yes.. and I've learned so much!
Driver: Any pointers you'd recommend?
Guy: Yes, follow That_Car. 

- - -

Sally speaking to answering machine:
Hey Nancy, Twitter was down this morning, when you get this message can you call, I'm dying to know what you had for breakfast? Thanks.

- - -

Twitter Novice to friend:
Hey Deborah, I don't get it, if Twitter only allows 140 characters, why is it so popular. Most good Disney cartoons have more characters than that?

- - -

Twitter-head Explaining Twitter to a Newbie:
OK, let me paint a picture in your head... Twitter is like cramming 140 of the whackiest characters you know in to a little room with turquoise walls, and then asking them to sing like the Birdman of Alcatraz in falsetto.

- - -

Doctor Tweeting to a patient: 
'Your tests came back; You are very sick' 
Patient Tweets back to doctor:
'Can I get a second opinion?' 
Doctor Tweets
'Yes, your Twitter page is ugly too.' 

- - -

ADD YOUR OWN TWITTER JOKES IN COMMENTS...

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Comments (7)

Dec 04, 2008
Amrita said...
I laughed out loud at the Sally one. Great jokes!
Dec 04, 2008
Bottlerocket said...
1. Knock Knock
2. Who's there?
1. Twitter.
2. Twitter who?

1. Knock Knock
2. Who's there?!
1. Twitter.
2. Twitter who?!

1. Knock Knock
2. Who's there?!!
1. Twitter.
2. Twitter who?!!

1. Knock Knock
2. Who's there?!!!
1. Orange.
2. Orange who?
1. Orange you glad I didn't say Twitter?!

Jan 22, 2009
DaveMurr said...
1st Twitter Date

Guy: That was a great movie. So.. did you want to come up to my place and check out my TweetDeck?

Girl: oh..uh.. no that's okay

Guy: Well then how about my Twhirl pool?

Girl: Look.. you're a cute guy, but after seeing your Fail Whale this just isn't going to work!

Jan 22, 2009
Dean Benninger said...
Good stuff, keep up the good work... Puts twitter into pespective & to how this all fits together!!!
Apr 13, 2009
Michael Mirth said...
Winston Churchill was present when a debate initiated between two collegues over the relative merits of twittering versus writing the old fashioned way, with a quill pen. When the argument became heated, he put a stop to it with the profound words, "Twitters never quill, and quillers never tweet."
May 11, 2009
Bill Yates said...
God saw Adam was bored and lonely and sent Eve. God saw men and women were bored and sent Twitter.
Oct 22, 2009
Too funny!!! Bill, yours is cute & creative!!!!

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